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| Sacred Science |
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| John Keely's Sacred Science |
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Topic: Jokes Section: Robbers Table of Contents to this Topic |
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ROBBERS (A True Story) One of the best emails I've ever read.... For anyone who didn't see the episode of David Letterman's show where this story was told, read this true story! On a recent weekend in Atlantic City, a woman won a bucketful of quarters at a slot machine. She took a break from the slots to have dinner with her husband in the hotel dining room, but wanted to stash the quarters in her room first. She told her husband that and carried the bucket to the elevator. As she was about to walk into the elevator she noticed two black men already aboard. One of them was very tall and had an intimidating figure. The woman froze. Her first thought was: 'These two are going to rob me.' Her next thought was: 'Don't be a bigot, they look like perfectly nice gentlemen.' But racial stereotypes are powerful, and fear immobilized her. Avoiding eye contact, she faced the elevator doors as they closed. A second passed, and then another second, and then another. Her fear kept increasing. The elevator didn't move. Panic consumed her. 'My God' she thought, I'm trapped and about to be robbed! Her heart pounded and perspiration poured off her. Then one of the men said, 'Hit the floor.' Instinct told her to do what they told her. The bucket of quarters flew upwards as she threw out her arms and collapsed on the elevator floor. The shower of coins rained down on her. 'Take my money and spare me', she prayed. More seconds passed. She heard one of the men say politely, 'Ma'am, if you'll just tell us what floor you're going to, we'll push the button.' The one who said it had a little trouble getting the words out. He was trying mightily not to laugh. The woman lifted her head and looked up at the two men. They reached down to help her up. Confused, she struggled to her feet. 'When I told my friend here to hit the floor,' said the average sized one, I meant that he should hit the elevator button for our floor. I didn't mean for you to hit the floor, ma'am.' He spoke genially and bit his lip. It was obvious he was having a hard time not laughing. The woman thought: "My God, what a spectacle I've made of myself," too humiliated to speak. The three of them gathered up the strewn quarters and refilled her bucket. When the elevator arrived at her floor they insisted on walking her to her room, as they were afraid she might not make it down the corridor. At her door they bid her a good evening. As she slipped into her room she could hear them roaring with laughter as they walked back to the elevator. The woman pulled herself together and freshened up, and then went downstairs to have dinner with her husband. The next morning a dozen roses were delivered to her room. Attached to EACH rose was a crisp one hundred-dollar bill. The card said: 'Thanks for the best laugh we've had in years. It was signed; Eddie Murphy & Michael Jordan |
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