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| Sacred Science |
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| John Keely's Sacred Science |
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Topic: Jokes Section: Home Late Table of Contents to this Topic |
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Paddy staggered home very late after an evening with his drinking buddy, Mick. Ê He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Bridget. Ê He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. Ê As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. Ê The bottle of "Jameson" in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful. Ê Managing not to yell, Paddy sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. Ê He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids andbegan putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood. Ê He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and stumbled his way to bed. Ê In the morning, Paddy woke up with searing pain in both his head and rump. Ê Bridget sat staring at him from across the room. She said, "Paddy McGuire, ye were drunk again last night, weren't ye?" Ê Paddy said, "Why are ye accusin' me of such a thing?" Ê "Ah, well," Bridget said: "it could be the open front door; itÊ could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs; it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house; it could be yer bloodshot eyes; butÊ mostly, I'm thinkin', it's all those Band-Aids stuck to the hall mirror." |
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