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| Sacred Science |
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| John Keely's Sacred Science |
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Topic: Jokes Section: Gear Head Table of Contents to this Topic |
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You Know You re A Gear Head When: When the first thought that comes to mind when you see an old worn out car. Is it restorable? Or you can't look at some old car without sizing it up for all the good parts you can scavenge from it. You have to move engine parts off the dining room table at mealtime to make room to eat. You cannot throw out something without first taking it apart to see just what broke, and why. When your neighbors routinely ask you if you want something before they throw it out. When your trashcan is both a source of amusement and frustration for the trash man. It's the only one on the street that they always have to use the hoist on, rather than heave it manually like the rest of them. And it makes the most noise being emptied. When your searching for change at the grocery store and you hand the clerk a few quarters a dime two pennies plus a few nuts, washers, and a cotter pin. Your family routinely finds grease and oil stains in strange places throughout the house. You find the plastic bushing on the shower door worn out. So you make new a one from old car parts without even checking the hardware store for replacements. Your coffee table book is a Summit Catalog You think it is normal to spend a half hour and buy a $5.00 tool to make a part you can buy for two bucks. The thought of calling a repairman would never occur to you. Walking around in a junkyard is your first though for a fun family outing. You wash your hands before going to the bathroom. You cannot look at some custom car without thinking of some ways to make it better. When the guys at the junkyard know you by name and save things they think you might want. The photos you carry in your wallet are of all the cars that you owned. When your idea of an ideal date is teaching your girl friend how to replace brakes on her car. When you bring more home from the junkyard dump than you take. When you can't understand how anybody can manage to keep a car going without a complete shop in the basement. When the shower stall curtain rod is made from parts of an old luggage rack because you just happened to have it lying around. When you need to pay bills but strategically look at all their due dates so you can get something from Summit first... When differential oil is your after shave... When the spare change dish on your dresser has no money in it, only nuts, small screws, washers, cotter pins, and all the other stuff that ended up in your pockets. When you pull up one of your socks in the morning --- hear a tear and immediately get excited cuz you know you got another shop rag... When you've grabbed a piece of chrome trim from the dish rack to make a peanut + jelly sandwich! When your teenage daughter had to show her boyfriend how to replace the horn relay on his car, and put the tools back in the right drawers in the toolbox. When you wake up on a cold winter morning and find ice on the windshield and no scraper in the car so you hurry down to the shop and make one so you will not be late for work. |
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